Meet Megan Dyer, Personal Assistant to Body Image Fitness Founder Kim Stacey. Megan is a 25-year-old single mum, curvy, confident and unapologetically sexy. Having recently re-entered the dating scene, Megan’s journey is filled with self-reflection, growth and a fierce commitment to embracing her authentic self. From navigating body image struggles to reclaiming her sexual confidence, Megan shares her unfiltered thoughts on what it really means to date as a fat girl in your 20s.
Megan’s relationship with her body has been a defining factor in her approach to dating. “I feel self-conscious showing my lower body in pictures on dating sites and Instagram, but I’m also scared that if I don’t, I’ll be seen as a catfish!” she admits. To combat this, Megan leans on the Body Image Fitness (BIF) WhatsApp groups for support. One piece of advice that stuck with her? Sexy lingerie. “By making myself feel good, I forget about how I look. I know the right man will love me just as I am.”
When it comes to dating, Megan feels the pressure to prove her worth beyond her appearance. “I feel like I need to show everyone how great I am beyond my curves.” Setting boundaries is essential, especially around comments about her body. Compliments and reassurance play a big role: “When someone tells me I’m sexy and beautiful and they look at me like a starved man, it really makes me feel desired.”
Separating self-worth from others’ perceptions isn’t always easy. “I just try to have the mindset of, ‘I’m curvy, and what?’ It doesn’t take away from the fact that I’m an amazing, successful, powerful woman!”
Megan has noticed stark differences in how people treat her on dating apps versus in real life. “Men can be cruel and have a fetish for bigger girls. It puts me off when they tell me they love curvy girls and are only interested in me because of it.” She handles backhanded compliments like “You’re pretty for a big girl” with zero tolerance: “Straight away, they’re blocked or I find an excuse to walk out of a date!”
While some dating apps can feel fatphobic, Megan has found spaces that feel more inclusive. “My favourite app is Feeld. It’s much more positive and focuses on kinks, genders and interests rather than looks. However, it is very casual-relationship-focused.”
Fetishisation is a complex topic. “It doesn’t bother me if it’s handled in the right way because everybody has their own type. I actually feel less self-conscious when I know they’re attracted to my size and won’t feel nervous about how they see me on the first date.” Megan refuses to downplay her confidence or personality for anyone: “No man is worthy of me if I can’t be 100% myself.”
So, what makes Megan feel her most confident on a date? “Sexy lingerie… FOR ME, not them. Spending time on my hair and makeup and wearing a killer outfit. If I feel confident, I’ll go into the date confidently.”
Insecurities do pop up, especially around intimacy. “My biggest insecurity is sex with a new partner. What will they think when the clothes come off? I always have a glass of wine to relax and I won’t sleep with someone until there’s a level of trust.”
Vulnerability hasn’t always been easy, especially after experiences of fat-shaming. “I find it harder to be vulnerable now that I’m bigger. I feel like I can’t talk to new partners about my insecurities because they might see me as problematic.”
Despite the challenges, Megan holds onto her romantic ideals. “I’m a hopeless romantic. I want passion, love and to feel like I’m the only girl in the world.” If she could give her younger self advice? “A good man will always make sure he’s your safe space. If he doesn’t hype you up, he isn’t worth it. Also, leave bad relationships sooner!”
The media’s portrayal of fat women has deeply affected Megan’s self-image. “I remember watching The DUFF as a child… wow, that film messed me up. Even now, looking at my friends, I sometimes see myself as the DUFF. It’s so sad, and I wish I could erase those thoughts. Without BIF, I don’t think I’d be in such a good headspace with my body image.”
Megan challenges the myth that fat girls should be “grateful” for attention. “Only the wrong kind of man could make me feel that way.” She’s clear that one misconception she wants to shatter is the idea that “you have to date any guy who gives you attention.” She says, “There’s no way I’ll waste my time on someone I don’t connect with. You could give me all the attention in the world, but if we don’t click, then thank you, next!”
Despite the ups and downs, Megan has found joy in dating. “Meeting someone I click with on a sexual level who hypes me up and makes me feel sexy lets me lean into my desires.”
When rejection stings, Megan focuses on self-care. Her go-to power outfit? “A black cami top, jeans and a blazer.” She keeps dating fun by refusing to force connections: “I’m a little flirt; I can tell pretty quickly if we vibe. I refuse to force anything.”
At the end of the day, dating as her authentic self is empowering. “The rush of confidence I get when someone ticks all my boxes and is genuinely interested in me? Unbeatable.”
Megan’s journey isn’t just about dating; it’s about self-love, growth, and refusing to settle for anything less than she deserves. And honestly, that’s the energy we all need.
